Friday, May 23, 2008

Chocolate Meltdown

It's been 18 days since I cut out chocolate and almost completely eliminated sugar from my diet. I have felt more stable energy-wise, and lost an inch off my hips, and probably experienced other health benefits. However, my month-long quest was derailed yesterday. Below are the emails chronicling the break down.

2:38pm Ryan!!! Angela just gave me a giant bag of chocolate Maltesers as a thank you for the questionnaires I handed out! Aaaagghhh! I think it would be rude not to eat some, right? They look so delicious, darling.....what should I do???

2:45 Is she watching you? Don't eat them. Say your saving them for later. Don't eat them. You will have to start the month over again!!!! Eat them in June.

2:48 I don't know...they're sitting right here. June is sooooooo far away. They will probably melt.....they will probably get confiscated by customs.......I should probably put them some place safe in my tummy.....

2:59 AND CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! UPSTAIRS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is too much temptation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm freaking out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:15 This is actually not very good chocolate. *wave of my hand* This is not the chocolate you are looking for. *wave of my hand*

3:20 I'm not sure I can be held accountable for my actions in the face of overwhelming chocolate-osity.

I ended up giving into temptation. What can I say? I'm only human. But today I'm extraordinarily grouchy. Coincidence? Everyone offers me explanations and solutions, but no one seems to grasp how complicated depression is. Diet and exercise and positive thinking. It all seems ridiculous some times. I will try these "positive affirmations" even though I actually think they're quite stupid. Maybe that will have to be my first affirmation "Positive thinking has made me peaceful. I believe in the power of positivity." barf.

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