When I was 18 I was determined to be a famous actress. I wasn't asking for Hollywood fame, Broadway fame would be ok too. The only trouble was that no one wanted to cast me in anything significant. They obviously couldn't understand my genius.
My sophomore year I realized that I probably wasn't being cast for a reason. So I practiced, tried every "method" under the sun, only to realize that basically all of the acting methods are bullshit, and what directors wanted(at least the ones I worked with) was the old children's theatre grandstanding. I did a few shows outside of university, but by and large felt disenchanted.
But although my heart wasn't in it, I still wanted to act, mainly because I felt I had something to prove. To whom? I don't know, all those people who didn't cast me, or the people who think they're more talented than me. I had actors' nightmares for a few months after graduating school, but gradually they faded as I focused my efforts elsewhere.
I've given a lot of thought to various careers: social work, non-profit organization, psychologist, teaching. Every week there is a new plan for grad school. Really I think I could go for a career as an eternal student because there are so many things that interest me.
Last night I went to my first audition in ages. Its for a video series teaching business English to Germans. I didn't particularly enjoy the audtion part, but it was fairly hilarious trying to explain my acting resume-- really, I bet there are a lot of actors who get their first film experience doing zombie movies.
On the way home I was thinking about acting, the creative drive, and etc and came back to the realization I've had many times before: I really miss improv. Not even the performing, rehearsals alone have led to some of the funniest moments of my life. So, I think once we finally get settled somewhere I'll have to find/make an improv troupe. An English-speaking one. I doubt this is the be-all end-all magical career, but its an outlet I need in my life.
P.S. the photo is a can-can dancing napkin from "Beauty and the Beast"
2 comments:
Katy darlink-
You are such an inspiration. Sign me up for your improv troup. I miss the crazy drama crowd and the creative process. I think all this growing up and graduating has really put a damper on my imagination. Improv always kept it fresh and alive. By the way, were you napkin holder in Beauty and the Beast? and if so when and where? Is Taylor coming to visit you?
R*
lovely photo...
wonderful post
have a nice week
Demetrios
Post a Comment