A Smooth Criminal

I'm taking a break from recounting our holiday trip to give you an update on the house mate situation. Yesterday Tekla (aka "Tequila") officially won the title of "worst roommate ever." I know that previous complaints about Angel's unannounced parties and loud karaoke might have seemed bad, but nothing compared to the hooligans Tekla invites into our home.

I'll begin at the beginning. Wednesday is my day off from work. All afternoon the doorbell was rung obnoxiously. Ryan and I have stopped answering since it's always for Tequila and she seems to need a butler service we're unwilling to provide. Her friends trickled in and the volume went up. Someone with a baby came over, parking the stroller across our tiny entryway. Then the door shut and they commenced hot boxing with a baby in the room. The baby obviously didn't like the smell of pot smoke and started crying.

Next thing we heard was shouting in the hallway. Angel was yelling at Tequila's party to give back her purses. Apparently, she was cooking in the kitchen and when she came back to her room her designer purse collection (and they actually are designer, not knock-offs, I know waste of money, but still...) had been taken. Angel was demanding that Tequila's friend give them back or she'd call the police. Tequila swore to have no knowledge of the person Angel was describing, but Tequila's latest boyfriend promised to get them back (from the "absolute stranger") in 24 hours as long as she didn't call the police. They were returned today, with all Angel's cell phone contacts deleted. Ryan and I told her she should call the police and cancel her credit cards, but we'll see.

The party briefly left and then returned to the house at 2am, yelling, running up and down the stairs, and smoking more pot (the smell comes under our door). Ryan got up to tell them to be quiet, and they are very friendly and apologetic to him, but I doubt they'd treat me that way if he wasn't here.

Anybody have any revenge ideas? Whilst lying awake last night I came up with a list and finally decided that I should put hot sauce in her douche (which she keeps in the shower). I am so glad we are moving in 2 weeks!