Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Milestones....or maybe ministones
Valentine's Day is here, and Ryan and I are approaching both the anniversary of our engagement and our 6 month wedding anniversary, or 6th monthiversary. Statistically, being married this long means we've outlasted over 70% of Pamela Anderson's marriages. In honor of these facts I've decided to write up a "what I've learned so far" about marriage. These are specific insights, but I suspect some could be more universally applied.
1. It's really true, you have to let go of 90% of the things you could potentially fight about. For the first 4 months of marriage Ryan and I had "the shoe fight." AKA he leaves his shoes wherever he takes them off, usually in the middle of the floor and within tripping distance. There isn't anything preventing him placing his shoes in the closet immediately after removing them, but to be honest I've never actually tripped over them. I save a lot of time kicking his shoes out of my path instead of arguing with him over something stupid he'll probably never do anyway.
2. Everyone says that marriage is about communication, but I never understood how difficult this would be until I realized that most of my lexicon consists of nonsense (i.e. I need to go the store to get some blah blah for that thing later) meanwhile Ryan is only able to process auditory information about 35% of the time. The rest of the time he is distracted by his other 4 senses.
3. Marriage is a team sport. But when you've been a one man team your whole life, its hard to switch over. Its really nice having someone to cook dinner or run an errand for you, but it can be hard to let someone else take care of important things like finances or choosing shampoo.
4. When you are dating someone, you notice how charming and funny they are. When you are married to someone you notice that for every time that he's clever or funny, he'll probably do something kinda gross. Men's bodily functions seem to operate on a different scale than women's. I love him all the same, but sometimes I make him leave the room to fart.
5. The amount of time Ryan and I spend together is insane! We're together almost constantly and when one of us returns from being apart we do ridiculous play-by-plays of the ever exciting "what happened at the doctor's office/on the metro/in class." I couldn't imagine spending this much time with anyone else without losing my mind. As a result of all the time we share, I can finish most of Ryan's sentences and 90% of his arguments. Lets say this habit does NOT endear you to non-coupled friends, so I try to stop, although sometimes he's hunting for a word and I know what it is, and like a jeapordy winner I have to shout it out proudly.
6. I love being married and spending time with my husband, but I notice we tend to isolate ourselves in lovey-dovey world. I was pretty independant pre-marriage but now I find myself hesitant to socialize sans husband. I think being married can be a crutch. I have to remind myself to get out my comfort zone and experience new things. And then I can race home and tell him "oooh today at the blah blah I met this guy who (soundeffect) and then...."