Tuesday, August 21, 2007

An Open Letter to the Asshole Sitting Next to Me While Watching "Superbad"

Its hypocritical of me to despise someone for talking during movies, as my friends and I usually have a running dialogue if the movie is even slightly sub-par (I'm looking at you "Sunshine"). But last Friday night was over my limit.

My brother and I went to see this flick for a little bonding before the madness of my ensuing wedding. It was really disgusting, but hilarious. What's not funny is the douche sitting next to me trying to impress some chick by yelling "faggot!" at the screen and at others in the theater.

How small is your manhood that you need to yell offensive and homophobic remarks at fictional characters? The scene that most offended this redneck was when "Evan" (aka George Micheal from the ever-fabulous Arrested Development) refused to sleep with a girl because she was a totally wasted VIRGIN. Clearly, Evan was a big homo.

How is it that a guy who probably finds a loving mutual relationship between two people of the same sex morally repugnant can simultaneously yell at someone to take advantage of a drunk 17 year old? Does this seem skewed to anyone else?

Looking at statistics in this country for the multitude of people who oppose gay marriage always astonishes me. Who are these people? Have they never met a gay person? Do they not have the capacity for empathy with our homosexual brothers and sisters? I can never believe that so many people can be so ignorant....but then I encounter one of my fellow Missoulians who feels comfortable enough being homophobic to flaunt it in front of a full movie theater and I have my answer.

If karma is really true this guy will experience the joy of being labeled a "faggot" someday. We'll see if he has empathy after that.


Martinez said...

I wouldn’t give up hope just yet, the times they are a changing. May not be there yet but one day the constitution will allow for someone to be lawfully shot for calling out in a movie.


I don’t know if the whole statistics thing takes into account people who may not care but just find it a touch nasty, people are really a lot more open minded these days but just are so used to being rash that on paper its to difficult to explain

maybe the best way is to try to view gay marriage’s like people who eat broccoli. I don’t judge you for it or think any less of you for it, just as long as you don’t ask me to eat it we'll be sweet, as I personally don’t enjoy that flavour.

Bryce said...

I think that we were always OK to rammer on during the playing of sub-par movies (I'm look at you "Brenden Frasier") because we always did it from the comfort of the Jones Household basement.

This lad apparently doesn't understand the public rule of hold on to your homophobia until the credits roll. After that you (D-Bag) can tell all your friends (D-Bags by Association) how much of a F***** (decent human being) Evan was for not sudo-raping a 17 year old girl.

Just a little common decency for the audiance who was no doubt doubled over will laughter viewing this rediculously hilarious movie.