Well, Ryan and I finally got some cash and paid up our card. After restoring the card, we huddled around the radiator, but to no avail. This was followed by a fairly comical scene of the two of us in the woodshed, huddled around the hot water heater, lighting matches in quick succession to read the "reset" instructions. Sadly, the lighting in the shed doesn't work, and we have no "torch" as the English call it (flashlight.) I was close to concocting my own real torch out of newspaper and a glass bottle, but Ryan figured out how to reset the water heater before this was necessary.
Thank you all for your generous out-pouring of concern and ill will towards my roommate. She is not really a bad person, she's actually pretty nice....just lazy and not very bright/responsible. As predicted, she woke up after the heating crisis was resolved. I did however, very passive-aggressively, reset the thermostat timer from turning off at midnight to 11:30, yeah, so take that!
Also, last night as Ryan and I were washing our dinner dishes, Angel woke up and turned on some Mariah Carey-sounding Chinese music and she began to sing really loudly and off-key. It was pretty hilariously awful, so we also had a good laugh and she sang her little Chinese heart out.