No Good, Rotten, Very Bad Week

Ryan and I have been thinking for the last few months that we want to move back to the U.S. We miss our families, our culture, and the opportunity to feel like we're a part of the community. I kept thinking as I learned German that once I was fluent, I would finally know what everyone was talking about. But I've come to the conclusion that while I know things about German culture, I will never understand it as an insider.

So we've been looking into options for moving back. Specifically I've been looking into Masters of Education programs at various universities. I have a handful of friends who have gotten an M.Ed. after studying another subject, and are now teaching in American public schools. After much hemming and hawing, Ryan thinks it would be easiest for him to transfer to Vancouver, Canada. So I've been chasing down email addresses and making contact at various universities. Finally this week I've gotten some answers, and they are of the French variety: "Non! Impossible!" Apparently because I don't have an undergrad in teaching, there is no possibility for me to get a masters. One school does have a one year teacher certification program, but not in the subjects I was hoping to teach. Also I might not qualify because I haven't taken any courses on Canadian history. I should have known that Canada would try to sabotage me. We've always been enemies.

On top of all that, I've been studying my @*$ off for the GREs, which I'm taking on the 18th. Monday I took a practice test: I scored 700 on my verbal section, but my math score was actually lower than the first diagnostic test I took. My score was so bad, I can't even bring myself to say it; but let's just say I think I now qualify for the "special" math class.

When I first moved to England with Ryan I had no idea what I would do for a job. At the time I narrowed it down to bar wench, historical reenactor, and American-to-English translator. Perhaps I should revive these options? I could now add to the list desperate housewife, real housewife of Vancouver, and aspiring novelist. (I think the latter just means sitting in Starbucks with a laptop and using an inflated vocabulary- right?)

So let's take a vote, what should I do with my life?

Weihnachtsmarkt Review

I know I haven't updated the blog since September...the thing is that this blog started as an Expat Chronicle, but I've lived abroad for such a long time it's starting to feel like old hat.  Ryan and I are just used to the oddities of living abroad; the endless rules, regulations, and bureaucracy, as well as the more charming aspects like the holidays.

I'm enjoying my third Christmas season in Germany, and as a veteran of the traditions (which you can read about here) I feel inclined to offer an American perspective on Christmas Markets.  Our giant Frankfurt Christmas Market opened last week and Ryan and I took the opportunity to visit the Frankfurt Market as well as a smaller one in Bad Homburg, about 20 minutes north of Frankfurt.  In the past I've also visited several Christmas markets in Munich, Berlin, and the famous Nuremberg market, so I'm basically an expert.

Your first experience in a Christmas market is definitely magical.  Here are row after row of tiny cabins purveying all manner of German handicraft, good cheap food, and most importantly hot mulled wine.  The lights, choir concerts, and nativity scenes warm the cold night.  That is the epitome of the Christmas market experience, and if you're lucky enough, you could probably experience it several times.  But there is a downside of Christmas markets: freezing temperatures, insane crowds, horribly schlocky booths, and worst of all-- wet feet.

This year we prepared ourselves.  We donned long underwear, several shirts, and generally as many layers as possible, as well as water-proof hiking boots.  But my main weakness is always the crowds.  I don't know if this is because I come from the land of open spaces, where our nearest neighbors were several acres away, or if it indicates a deeper psychological problem, but I hate crowds.  I hate slow people walking in front of me, I hate people bumping into me; basically crowds drive me into an illogical rage..or if not rage, then definitely a grump.  So Saturday afternoon was pretty much the worst time we could've picked for visiting the Frankfurt market.  We managed to cross a few gifts off our list, but it was a bit of a headache.  Even my Nutella-covered waffle was cold!

Now Ryan is a genuine Christmas market fiend.  When he suggested heading out to another market after our Frankfurt experience, I thought he was crazy.  But we drove up to Bad Homburg early Sunday afternoon and had quite a different experience.  The market is much smaller, and located in a castle.  There are fewer booths, but everything was very high quality, and we found things we hadn't seen in Frankfurt or at any other Christmas market.  We also enjoyed a walk around Bad Homburg, including the castle grounds and the gigantic neo-Byzantine/neo-Romanesque church.  I have to say, I think this is my favorite Christmas market of all.

And I'm glad to know that after all this time, Germany can still surprise.  I don't know how much longer we'll stay here, but as long as we do I'll try to keep looking for new discoveries.

Scotland the Brave

Our favorite part of the vacation was our stay in the Scottish Highlands. There are so many gorgeous places, but due to our interests in whisky and wilderness, we chose to stay in Speyside-- an area along the river Spey. This is the malt whisky capital of Scotland due to its good water. Its also nestled in some beautiful countryside, right next to Cairngorms National Park.

Hiking in the Cairngorms

One of the highlights for me was our first whisky distillery tour and tasting. There are so many distilleries in this area, and many of them offer a free tour, but I really recommend springing for the Aberlour Warehouse No. 1 tour if you're planning on Speyside. Our guide was hilarious and we learned about the different factors that make whisky taste the way it does. When you do a tasting, they typically give you a place mat with several small glasses of different whiskies, but our first glass had a clear liquid in it. Our guide, Dennis, explained that he wanted us to taste the pure spring water that went into the whisky. We all tossed it back, only to discover that it was actually the super-strong "wine" part of the whisky before it is aged in the casks. Dennis was very funny.

Another great part of the trip was the village we stayed in, Dufftown. We were right on the main square of this busy little town. Its very well set-up for tourists, although there were hardly any. All the restaurants around the square were super, including a very interesting Scottish/French fusion place. Dufftown has events many nights of the week, so tourists will find plenty to do. Our favorite was the Stramash, a gathering of local musicians in the British Legion Hall. We had a drink and chat with some locals and enjoyed wonderful music all night. We had to leave early the next day, but found ourselves saying "one more song, then we'll go" several times before it stuck.

the clock tower on Dufftown's main square

We wrapped up our trip with a visit to Edinburgh for The Fringe Festival, and popped down to London to visit my friend, Bonnie. We saw lots of theater and enjoyed catching up. I typically think of my ideal vacation involving beaches and drinks with umbrellas, but despite a certain chilliness and no pool boys, Ireland and Scotland made a wonderful vacation. Writing about it all now makes me want to go back soon. I would definitely recommend it, Speyside especially.

Belfast

We wrapped up our stay in Ireland Ireland and crossed the border to Northern Ireland's capital.  Belfast is a pretty Victorian town, with a downtown picturesque enough to make one forget about the city's darker side.  Belfast's night life is considerably quieter than Dublin's, but we enjoyed a nice tour of the city's historic pubs.

The Crown Bar-- beautiful old bar, complete with walled booths for the discreet drinker

 One of the most interesting things in Belfast are the murals, some painted in peacetime, others a reminder that tensions still exist between the two communities: Catholic vs. Protestant, Unionist vs. Republicans. 

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding."

The masked gunman's eyes seem to follow you no matter where you are.

 

 

 

Belfast has the feeling of many middle-sized towns in the UK, which is quite cozy.  Despite the "Troubles", the city is very friendly and lovely.  I was surprised that Dublin felt much rougher than it's norther counterpart. 

Western Ireland

The west coast of Ireland is rugged and rainy due to the pounding Atlantic Ocean. We only had a few days and wanted to spend time exploring the rugged landscape. Although the Dingle Peninsula was highly recommended to us by both Rick Steves and a few friends, we opted for Doolin in County Clare. Doolin is a tiny village known for good live music and located on the coast near The Burren national park.

Doolin

Apparently, we weren't the only ones who heard about Doolin's music scene. The four local pubs got mobbed with tourist buses (the bane of my existence) every night. Not only that, but the music wasn't as good as what we'd heard in Dublin. But we made the most of it by chatting with some visiting Germans. It was a very funny situation. Two other couples and we were crowded at a table together, when the Irish couple asked the Germans where they were from. The Irish couple replied, "Wirklich? Wir haben in der Schweiz gewohnt." To which I replied, "Also, alle in Doolin sprechen Deutsch." ("Really? We lived in Switzerland." "Apparently everyone in Doolin speaks German.") The German couple were quite surprised that the Irish people and the Americans sitting with them could all speak German, and we had a very nice conversation, and the German couple were nice enough to give us a lift back to our hostel. (It was pouring by then.)

We drove along the coast and hiked in the Burren. The landscape was unbelievably rocky; I can't imagine trying to farm this land. The Burren was unfortunately very touristy, but we did have one nice hike away from the crowds.

atop a huge hill in the Burren

The main draw of the Burren are the neolithic sites. We managed to see a few-- the frustration was a lack of trails, which made me hesitant to wander too far away from the car, there aren't exactly a ton of landmarks on this kind of terrain. But maybe with better organization, one could see more of the neolithic sites away from the crowds. Here is a very visited tomb entrance that was pretty cool.

All in all, western Ireland is very cool, but if I were to go back, I'd probably pick a different place to stay.

Dublin

We got back from our vacation a few days ago, and I have so much to write about I don't know where to start.  I guess I'll start with the beginning, a very good place to start.  On the flight over we were magically upgraded to first class.  I'd never flown first class before, and although our flight was only an hour and a half,  I decided to take full advantage of my privileges, by ordering many beverages and eating a fancy salad although it was 4pm and not anywhere near actual meal time.

Dublin is not a beautiful city.  Its roughness was illustrated within our first hour as we witnessed the end of a vicious bar fight.  Despite its roughness, or perhaps because of it, there is a certain charm to it.  While there are prettied up, touristy bits, the city at large seems rather indifferent to tourists.  Maybe it sounds strange, but I like it.  Some places you visit are so keen on selling you the "real" experience that the town starts to feel more like Disneyland than a place where people actually live. 

But disregard all that, and let me hypocritically point out that my highlight of Dublin was The Guinness Experience.  Much like Swarovski Kristallwelt in Innsbruck, Austria, some of these corporate "museums" take themselves so seriously you just have to laugh.  A lot.  Did you know that the five ingredients of Guinness are water, yeast, barley, hops, and Arthur Guinness? (Not literally, I hope.)  But Guinness did include a pint with a view, whereas Swarovski didn't give me any crystal thingies as part of admission.

The main attraction of Dublin is the night life.  Many bars have live music, and it ended up being the best we heard in Ireland.  Try not to get obsessed with this song, I dare you.  Half the places we went were also engraved with quotes from James Joyce's Ulysses, which I've always been to intimidated to tackle, but at this point my curiosity might get the better of me.

Our stay in Dublin was brief, but satisfying.  Stay tuned for the next blog: "Driving around Ireland in the Rain"....or something like that.

I Wanna Go Home....

I suppose its fairly normal in the expat community to have weeks (or in some cases months, years...) where you loathe your adopted homeland and long for the sanity of your own country.  Last week was one of those weeks, officially an "I Hate Germany Week."

The feeling came upon me last week that I never have respite from dealing with the bureaucracy of living, working, and moving around in Germany.  There is always something to be done.  Some error at the bank, an issue with my paycheck, insurance, Ryan's HR department being unreasonable.  But the last straw was an unwelcome visit from the GEZ.

I should explain.  In the United States we have public television, which is so-so, and funded by selling tote bags during semi-annual "pledge weeks."  I have never bought one.  In the UK and Germany public television is funded by a TV tax.  This is not a tax when you buy a TV, but rather a tax on owning a TV that you are supposed to self-report and pay monthly.  I loved the BBC when we lived in the UK but never paid this tax, despite threatening letters describing the Licensing Agency's heat-detection systems that could find any hidden TV without even entering your front door.  (Seriously.)

German public television is pretty bad, and it has commercials, so it beats me as to why I should have to pay for it.  I tossed the warning letters on the grounds that if they wanted people to pay this stupid tax they should make it more enforceable-- their problem, not mine.  Several friends had advised me that agents from the GEZ could come and search your house for TVs, radios, and computers, but only if you let them in, which legally you are not obligated to do.  So that was the game plan.  Until last Thursday.

I was actually home cooking dinner around 6pm, instead of at school, as usual.  The buzzer rang and since it was after working hours, I figured it must be Ryan lugging a crate of beer.  He does that sometimes when he doesn't want to set the crate down to hunt for his keys.  So I buzzed him in.  Then I opened the apartment door and sure enough he came up the stairs a minute later, but with an older lady.  She asked "did you buzz me in?" and I told her yes, not letting her in the door, but talking to her in the hall.  Too late.  She flashed her GEZ badge and could apparently see the TV from some bizarre angle standing in the doorway.  I was so irritated I asked Ryan to deal with her while I finished cooking.  He  confessed to everything; not following the rules makes Ryan anxious.

So now we owe the stupid Licensing Agency something like 170 Euros.  Its enough to make me throw up my hands and say "To hell with this country!"  I'm still quite irritated, although having a great neighborhood festival this weekend somewhat makes up for it.  All I'm saying is, Germany better appreciate me, or I will leave and then won't it be sorry!